Welcome To Running In Water!
I am a woman, mother, writer, healer, student, teacher and lover. I am deeply committed to sharing my experiences with my greater community and the world at large. It is through the sharing of our stories, both joyful and tragic, that we come to know our true brothers and sisters, for it is not blood but spirit that defines family.
Join me on this journey as I attempt to know the real me, the me beneath all the layers of protection and defense…
Perhaps you will see yourself there too.
8/12/13 Diana Ray
One Year Later…
I began this blog one year ago, as a means of promoting myself as a writer. Over the course of 4 years, I wrote a memoir about my family of origin, something that was both liberating and incredibly painful to re-experience. I am very thankful that I took this history of myself, that it is all in written word. My intention was and is to share this story with the world, if I am so blessed. I was a child of a Jewish middle class family through the 70’s and 80’s. This was complete with any number of atrocities that can happen within families: fraud, adultery, incest, eating disorders, mental health issues, verbal abuse… I am one of many who have lived to tell the tale.
But one year later, this is no longer my goal. What started as structured (writing essays on my crazy family life with special needs kids), began to grow and grow, and morph and change, and grow some more. My blog, which is truly my heart’s desire, is full of many things; essay, poetry, children’s poems. I have delved into the deeply spiritual, and reflected it back in my writing. I am active with other writers through online media (new as of June 2013). I am putting it out there, that I would like to share more.
This next year is going to be about my family of origin, that much is clear. This includes not only my parents and siblings, but ancestry as well. There is much pain converging presently with my family of origin, and I know that pain runs deep in our blood-line. So much pain passed down from one generation to another, never healed, always raw… This continues to live on today, in my sibling’s family, and of course, my own.
If you want to learn more about me, continue to read “Who Am I,” for specifics. Or, you can read any of my post’s….
Where It All Began
I am a young woman in my early 40’s, with 2 boys I love more than anything, a lively pooch, and a husband I cannot imagine life without. I am struggling to find inner calm, and in the process, finding myself. My goal is to find my way in the world, and to approach with much grace, the roadblocks and challenges that currently leave me somewhere between breathless, and knocked off my feet. I am struggling to forgive myself for my faults, to find a way to parent 2 very difficult children, to stay connected to my wonderful husband, my friends, my family, my community I hold so dear, both local and global. I am struggling to keep my sanity a daily basis, with trying my damnedest to stay afloat, to reach out to others, to ask for help when I need it (and boy, do I need it!). To find a piece of zen somewhere deep within me, that I can cling to everyday, like a pacifier.
I love to cook and have dinner with friends, to hang out in my garden, and to enjoy the throngs of hummingbirds I see in my flowers every summer. I love sleeping in and going out for meals. I love hiking, going to the beach, and seeing a good movie. I love to hang out with my husband, my friends, and when things go well, my children. I love to meditate and I love to write. I love all things spiritual, and I love to help others. I love things that inspire an altered state.
I am really a teenager at heart.
If you have read my post, you know I am writing under a pseudonym, until my parents pass away. I have also changed the names of my husband and children, to protect their identities as well.
Photographs taken by Diana Ray