Love Letter

photo 1 (17)So, I have found myself holding hands with depression.  This is a love letter I have written to myself, in response to how I feel.

Dearest Beloved,

Let me be your ground, your deep and winding roots that are so established, there is no fear you will fall.  I am flowing water, washing away anything that is less than compassion, less than love.  You are a beautiful creature, created perfectly in My image; nurturing, fierce, full of love.  Why does your heart-break so?  Why does it feel like the highest of frequencies, one that is capable of breaking glass with one long, sustained note?  I can feel the anger, pain and fear that has settled in the path you walk as wife, mother and teacher.  Unplug, empty, and let it wash away.  Fill yourself with Me.  You are a chalice that is meant to hold greatness, a container for the many faces and layers of the One True Being Of Light, a Being that is nothing less than utter perfection, exactly as you are.  Lay yourself down and surrender.  Let Me cleanse all that does not serve the true nature of your heart; pure, unconditional love that is meant to not only give, but to receive.  You have bound yourself, cut yourself free.  You are no longer an abandoned, loveless child hiding in fear from an ancestry of hatred and pain.  You are the Goddess incarnate:  A Living, Breathing Beacon of Blessedness that wishes to wrap you up and hold you tight, fly you beyond anything that has been less than love.  Did you not know you had wings?  They are wet and wishing to open; like a long-awaited stretch let them carry you to the place you call home.  Sit in open-eyed wonder at the beauty of the world around you.  If you cannot find it, shift your gaze, turn you head, empty yourself.  Empty and fill with Me again and again, as many times in a minute, in an hour, in a day as you need.  Feel the love that is not just Me but You, as we are One.

Dearest beloved, put your hand over your heart and just feel.  Let the painful feelings flow.  I will take them, transmute them, free them to evolve into something bold and beautiful.  Creating space to allow more light, more joy, more love.  Sit in your garden as you sit in the light, and bask in the beauty.  And if this is the only place that beauty resides (at this time), sit in this space and let yourself be held.  Do it often and frequent, and let yourself be healed.  And if you feel that pull, that pull into darkness where there is no joy, no light, no love, sit with the darkness and hold it tight.  Soothe it and tell it it’s going to be ok.  Give it the love it does not want you to have, and let it experience the healing that comes from such tenderness.  Imagine that it is a little girl, and you a nurturing, loving mother.  I am the veins in your body, carrying away with ease the heaviness in your soul, bringing in pure, nourishing light.  Lay on my Earth and imagine a thousand fairies sprinkling their healing, magic dust all over your body.  Release and release and release into Me.  Give me your pain, it is mine to transform.

photo (94)

Diana Ray/April Aronoff

Photography By Diana Ray

15 thoughts on “Love Letter

  1. Dear friend, as you let these loving, healing words percolate through your being, may you also feel the warm support of this friend. Your truth and wisdom have touched me many times. Now, how can I help you?

  2. I have been dealing with severe depression for 3yrs now. I can’t really talk in ‘people words’ so much but use poetry and my paintings to express what I need. I love this letter you have written. I wish I could write one like this for me but never could. I think it is so important to accept and love yourself through all of it. Every resistance, anger, irritation, dark place you find yourself in…… keep reminding those parts you are doing well and it is ok and I love you. I wanted to thank you for the most inspiring letter I felt every word. Keep writing your blog. I used to write one before the depression hit, then I stopped. I feel heard and understood each time I read someone else’s experience with depression. Thank you for saying things that I can’t say yet. Mandy.

    • You have just written me a beautiful love letter and my heart smiles 🙂 I think you are a beautiful soul and I wish you peace on your journey. Thank you for such kind words, I am humbled.

  3. I found your blog from hocuspocus13, and was led to this letter you wrote to yourself. How timely! I suffer from a depression that has darkened my door for over 35 years. Sometimes I am able to beat it back, but at this time it has a grip on me and I find that underneath it is a very intense anger. I feel on the verge of shattering completely. Your words feel like silk against my skin, they speak to a part of me no one is able to reach. Thank you for putting your words out here for someone like me to find! Blessings, Susan

    • I realize I have not yet replied to this, and I am deeply sorry! I am so glad that you find comfort in my words. It is so hard to find strength in that which wants to eat you alive. But somehow I feel, that is the medicine. That when we are pushed so deeply to the edge the only choice it to grab onto life with a rope of light. That with this light comes new pathways, new ways of walking that bring joy vs. grief. I still struggle with this, but I believe it deep to the core. Blessings 🙂

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