One of the biggest challenges I face presently is balancing the needs of each of my children, alongside my husband, my job, my blog and my sanity. I feel a bit fearful when I think about it, as I feel depleted by my job, leaving little energy left over. But I am highly committed to both my boys and need to give them all I got. My older ADHD+NVLD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder+Non-Verbal Learning disorder) son needs me as both advocate and guide, as he navigates what are sometimes challenging social situations (this has improved incredibly). He needs me to be patient and compassionate as he struggles to control his body and language (again, so much improvement). My younger son also needs me as advocate and guide, as he is a child who learns differently at school. He needs me to be patient and compassionate as he manages having intense anger at the age of 8 years.
There are a lot of appointments going around. But this is how it is.
I want to stay grounded and give to myself as much as I can. I’m going to take more days to myself this year. I’m going to do things like go to Hot Springs Places or go for a hike with my husband while we both play hookie. I’m going to take the time to sit in stillness, to let the Goddess/Spirit flow through my veins. I’m also letting my addictions rage a bit, recognizing that they’re a bit helpful right now, and I don’t have the energy to make a change anyway. I’m going to make this next year of job creation active and alive. This might involve some ass kicking, as I can let myself take forever to get crap done! I promise to myself to keep at least one foot moving swiftly.
I have just started seeing a therapist and it feels really good. How all the myriad of weekly mom/kid appointments will affect me will soon be known. Next week my older son starts school and my younger son begins play therapy, an official start to the fast pace that will be my life for the next several months. Wish me well.
Diana Ray/April Aronoff
Photography By Diana Ray